Billiards Obsession
Is It Your Magnificent Obsession?
Billiards Mania can wreck havoc with your normal life. It may be known by many names. pocket billiards addiction, Compulsive Billiards Disorder, or Pathological pool table use. What ever we call it there is hardy a mental health or addictions practitioner who hasn't seen some form of this modern green felt malady in their practice. Family Law attorneys are reporting record numbers of divorces related to chalk dust and poolhall affairs. Employees are being fired for sharking at work and excessive sick days.Find out just where you are when it comes to this obsession before it is too late. You may need to seek help before you get out of control.
You really know you have Billiards Obsession when:-
- The last five entries on your Passport were stamped “Valley Forge, PA”
- Your Chalk Puller frayed after six months of use. You need to replace the cord with Kevlar.
- Your cellphone ringtone is the sound of a breakshot and you only get calls when you are at the table.
- Your idea of a good exercise session is getting more than two hours of walking time in an evening of 8-ball matches.
- You base your major life decisions on the reading you get from your Magic 8-Ball.
- You proudly display your certificate naming you a charter member of OCBA 'Obsessive Cue Buyer's Anonymous' where they have staff counselors to deal with the OCBD affliction.
- Even when the temperature is a negative 15, you insist on wearing only one glove. It has no thumb and is for your left hand.
- When your car starts to slide off the road your mind is busy trying to calculate the angle of the bank shot off the curb.
- You announce that you will gamble with anyone in the bar for any amount of money, but immediately demand a loan when the first person takes you up on it.
- The coffee table in your living room measures four by eight feet and stands half a cue length in height.
- You take a second mortgage on your house to make a down payment on your second Balabushka cue
- You have a blue stain on your car seat from forgetting to properly stow your chalk-on-a-stick in your back pocket.